We had a visit with our s/w yesterday and guess what!!! We'll be able to sign the adoptive placement paperwork within a few weeks!!!!!! I'm so excited! Finally, the process for adoption is officially rolling. We should be able to finalize by December, latest. I can't believe it. Time has gone by so fast. Our s/w and the kiddos' CPS worker in San Antonio are just the best. They have been great every step of the way and I cannot thank them enough. It feels good that someone is out there lobbying and fighting for us and our kids. They even waived the six month waiting period (or we wouldv'e had to wait until November to sign these papers.)
In some ways, it feels as though our family has been together forever. But in others, it feels like it was just a little bit ago that Bobby and I were so devastated and having a hard time starting our family. God has been so giving to us. I don't know if I'll ever get over the pain I went through, but I know that we have been given some incredible incredible gifts. My tears have become those of joy. My aches and pains have become those of having carried a two year old around all day while also working with my other children. My fears now revolve around taking care of them, instead of wondering what the future will hold. My life has more focus, more joy, more laughter than I ever thought possible.
Is our family complete?
I don't think so.
Will we adopt again?
We don't know. But one thing is for sure. We are definitly fulfilled.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
?
Strange things are a foot.....tell you more later....
The kids are doing great! Staci may be getting ready to poop in the potty. She tells us "potty" now when she's gone in her pull up. Cross your fingers!
Jon is a mixture of Superman, Spiderman, the Flash, and Bob the Builder right now. Oh and Darkwing Duck! It's kind of hard to keep up with who he's supposed to be at any given moment!
Destiny is officially reading!!!!!
It's like reading that first sentence opened a door in her mind! She's getting it now. We read four "ready to read" books from Barnes and Noble last night. By the last book, she had learned about 3 more sight words and was reading almost complete sentences with a little help using phonics from me! I'm definitly doing a happy dance here! She even got excited when we read the word "cup". Mommy! That sounds like up!!!! Look (covers the "c") it's up! I almost peed my pants.
She's learning to come to me when she needs something. Especially when it's an emotional need. That was hard for her. She got in trouble for lying the other day and after our talk, I looked into her eyes and said "I love you" four times. I think this may have helped.
The kids are doing great! Staci may be getting ready to poop in the potty. She tells us "potty" now when she's gone in her pull up. Cross your fingers!
Jon is a mixture of Superman, Spiderman, the Flash, and Bob the Builder right now. Oh and Darkwing Duck! It's kind of hard to keep up with who he's supposed to be at any given moment!
Destiny is officially reading!!!!!
It's like reading that first sentence opened a door in her mind! She's getting it now. We read four "ready to read" books from Barnes and Noble last night. By the last book, she had learned about 3 more sight words and was reading almost complete sentences with a little help using phonics from me! I'm definitly doing a happy dance here! She even got excited when we read the word "cup". Mommy! That sounds like up!!!! Look (covers the "c") it's up! I almost peed my pants.
She's learning to come to me when she needs something. Especially when it's an emotional need. That was hard for her. She got in trouble for lying the other day and after our talk, I looked into her eyes and said "I love you" four times. I think this may have helped.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
The dog is here.
The dog is here.
The four most beautiful words in the world.
Why?
Destiny read her very first sentence today and this was it.
The dog is here.
I'm still crying.
She went an entire year not learning one sight word and not knowing how sound out words. But now, things are different. She has a daddy and a mommy. She is getting more and more comfortable. She is stable. She is learning!
She is ablsolutely wonderful.
This was quite a large sentence for her first one, but she did it.
She can do anything. She's my super hero.
She told me right after she read it, "Mommy! I'm becoming a princess!"
No baby, you already are a princess. 100% princess.
And I am so very proud of you.
Beautiful girl with all the curls
Darling of our lives
Taken from the breath of God
And left to my design
I don't know why you chose me
But I know where we've been
And I promise you
with all my heart
I've loved you...
since before I knew about you
since before you came home
since before you could even dare to dream and hope
And I'll love you
for all time.
The four most beautiful words in the world.
Why?
Destiny read her very first sentence today and this was it.
The dog is here.
I'm still crying.
She went an entire year not learning one sight word and not knowing how sound out words. But now, things are different. She has a daddy and a mommy. She is getting more and more comfortable. She is stable. She is learning!
She is ablsolutely wonderful.
This was quite a large sentence for her first one, but she did it.
She can do anything. She's my super hero.
She told me right after she read it, "Mommy! I'm becoming a princess!"
No baby, you already are a princess. 100% princess.
And I am so very proud of you.
Beautiful girl with all the curls
Darling of our lives
Taken from the breath of God
And left to my design
I don't know why you chose me
But I know where we've been
And I promise you
with all my heart
I've loved you...
since before I knew about you
since before you came home
since before you could even dare to dream and hope
And I'll love you
for all time.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Okay, so now here comes mommy hood!
Sooooooo
We're watching some kind of football thing on Saturday with my in-laws. The kiddos are playing around having a good time. Jon is having a hard time putting a strap on his baseball helmet, gets frustrated and says "DAMMIT!"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think this in my mind, I don't think that came out of my mouth)
Now, knowing that he's four and this is a first for him, I (try to) stay calm and say, "Jon, that's an ugly word. You don't need to say that. Now go to time out." Since my in-laws are there, this becomes a huge production. Crocodile tears people. Crocodile tears.
Fast forward to Monday. I pick Jon and rush back to work in order to hold detention. He's having fun coloring and talking to me while I'm Breakfast Clubbing it with a bunch of teenagers. Jon pops up, in as loud a voice he can muster, "Mommy, I can't say Dammit!" Again with the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
Now, I realize he wasn't saying it to say it, he was telling me he understood, so I don't get angry.
Me: No Jon, you can't say that word. It's ugly.
Jon: Only Daddy can say Dammit!!!!
Me: (he he he he he to self)
Jon: I can't say Dammit!
Remember, I'm holding detention and half the students are beginning to crack....
Me: Okay honey, don't say it anymore.
Jon: I can't say dammit.
Me: Honey, stop it (giggle)
Jon: Nope can't say..
Me: JON!
By now, all 20 students are eyeing me for my reaction and I"m almost rolling on the floor laughing at this point. It was too funny!
Now, before you think I'm a terrible parent, you have to know Jon. Repetition works for him. He thrives on it. This is how he learns. All he was doing was checking to make sure he had learned correctly. He wasn't doing it to push buttons or anything.
Anddddddd!
Staci is finally becoming a Daddy's girl.
She was sent to time out earlier today and began to drama. All of a sudden I hear, "I wan't Daddy!" Bobby was very thrilled to hear about this.
Fine. He knows the next baby we get will be a boy....just wait honey. Just wait. he he he he
We're watching some kind of football thing on Saturday with my in-laws. The kiddos are playing around having a good time. Jon is having a hard time putting a strap on his baseball helmet, gets frustrated and says "DAMMIT!"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think this in my mind, I don't think that came out of my mouth)
Now, knowing that he's four and this is a first for him, I (try to) stay calm and say, "Jon, that's an ugly word. You don't need to say that. Now go to time out." Since my in-laws are there, this becomes a huge production. Crocodile tears people. Crocodile tears.
Fast forward to Monday. I pick Jon and rush back to work in order to hold detention. He's having fun coloring and talking to me while I'm Breakfast Clubbing it with a bunch of teenagers. Jon pops up, in as loud a voice he can muster, "Mommy, I can't say Dammit!" Again with the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
Now, I realize he wasn't saying it to say it, he was telling me he understood, so I don't get angry.
Me: No Jon, you can't say that word. It's ugly.
Jon: Only Daddy can say Dammit!!!!
Me: (he he he he he to self)
Jon: I can't say Dammit!
Remember, I'm holding detention and half the students are beginning to crack....
Me: Okay honey, don't say it anymore.
Jon: I can't say dammit.
Me: Honey, stop it (giggle)
Jon: Nope can't say..
Me: JON!
By now, all 20 students are eyeing me for my reaction and I"m almost rolling on the floor laughing at this point. It was too funny!
Now, before you think I'm a terrible parent, you have to know Jon. Repetition works for him. He thrives on it. This is how he learns. All he was doing was checking to make sure he had learned correctly. He wasn't doing it to push buttons or anything.
Anddddddd!
Staci is finally becoming a Daddy's girl.
She was sent to time out earlier today and began to drama. All of a sudden I hear, "I wan't Daddy!" Bobby was very thrilled to hear about this.
Fine. He knows the next baby we get will be a boy....just wait honey. Just wait. he he he he
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Just some Tib Bits
Jon:
We're talking after school one day when Jon says, "Mommy, I don't have to go to school tomorrow!"
Me: Yes honey.
Jon: Nuh uh
Me: really?
Jon: my teacher said I don't have to go back tomorrow
Me: I don't think so
Jon: yes she did, I don't have to go to school tomorrow
Me: yes you do
Jon: Nope!
Stinker.
Destiny:
Is doing great!!! She's learning sight words!!! I'm so excited. I bet she can read a really short book soon!!! She had a slight fever today, but went right down with Motrin.
Staci:
Has had a terrible bladder infection! My poor baby. She's getting better though and only has several more days of antibiotic. She's now in her terrible, I mean her wonderful, energetic, light hearted, two's. She has more mood swings than a woman with PMS. I wonder if chocolate will help her....hmmmmm
Me:
Tired. Tired. Tired.
And loving every minute of it.
I love lack of sleep.
I love crying babies
I love dirty kitchens
I love making little lunches
I love that it takes me an hour to pick everyone up after school/work
I love little hugs and kisses at 5:45 am
I love getting up at night and watching them sleep
And I love all many many little things that happen during the day.
And Bobby:
Who else would have sat with me in the ER while Staci cried and cried for hours on end?
Who else would (try to ) clean the kitchen every night for me?
Who else would hold my hand as I go to sleep every night?
Who else can hold Destiny and make her feel that she's his whole world?
Who else can smile at his son and make the whole room light up?
Who else would have actually listened when I mentioned that three children were up for adoption?!
Having children has really changed us and our marriage, but one thing's for sure. It can make things so much better!
We're talking after school one day when Jon says, "Mommy, I don't have to go to school tomorrow!"
Me: Yes honey.
Jon: Nuh uh
Me: really?
Jon: my teacher said I don't have to go back tomorrow
Me: I don't think so
Jon: yes she did, I don't have to go to school tomorrow
Me: yes you do
Jon: Nope!
Stinker.
Destiny:
Is doing great!!! She's learning sight words!!! I'm so excited. I bet she can read a really short book soon!!! She had a slight fever today, but went right down with Motrin.
Staci:
Has had a terrible bladder infection! My poor baby. She's getting better though and only has several more days of antibiotic. She's now in her terrible, I mean her wonderful, energetic, light hearted, two's. She has more mood swings than a woman with PMS. I wonder if chocolate will help her....hmmmmm
Me:
Tired. Tired. Tired.
And loving every minute of it.
I love lack of sleep.
I love crying babies
I love dirty kitchens
I love making little lunches
I love that it takes me an hour to pick everyone up after school/work
I love little hugs and kisses at 5:45 am
I love getting up at night and watching them sleep
And I love all many many little things that happen during the day.
And Bobby:
Who else would have sat with me in the ER while Staci cried and cried for hours on end?
Who else would (try to ) clean the kitchen every night for me?
Who else would hold my hand as I go to sleep every night?
Who else can hold Destiny and make her feel that she's his whole world?
Who else can smile at his son and make the whole room light up?
Who else would have actually listened when I mentioned that three children were up for adoption?!
Having children has really changed us and our marriage, but one thing's for sure. It can make things so much better!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Common Thread Project
This is really cool. I think this is a great idea! How great would it be to see someone wearing one of these and knowing that you are not alone in the world. I'm getting mine today.
http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/08/common-thread-project.html
I made a promise to myself that even when I've started my family (via adoption or giving birth)that I would be there for anyone who was dealing with infertility. It is such a hard journey to be on. I hope this idea gets around, it might give me an opportunity to not only help, but to raise awareness. We, as a community, need to be there for each other, our friends and commrades.
Even if you've never had issues with fertility, if you see someone wearing a pomegranate colored string, say a prayer for them and their families.
Love to all.
http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/08/common-thread-project.html
I made a promise to myself that even when I've started my family (via adoption or giving birth)that I would be there for anyone who was dealing with infertility. It is such a hard journey to be on. I hope this idea gets around, it might give me an opportunity to not only help, but to raise awareness. We, as a community, need to be there for each other, our friends and commrades.
Even if you've never had issues with fertility, if you see someone wearing a pomegranate colored string, say a prayer for them and their families.
Love to all.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Life as a Mom
Okay, so this Mom thing...what a job. I'm so glad I had the summer to get used to SOME of the everyday stuff before I had to go back to work. Now that work and school have started...WOW! I'm up at 5:30 and don't stop until the kiddos go to bed at 8:00. Shower, get dressed, wake kids up, feed kids, make lunches, make food for myself, leave house. Drop off Staci, drop off Destiny, go to work. Get to work just as the first bell rings for school to start. Teach, teach, teach. Pick up Jon from school, pick up Destiny and Staci. Go home. Tutor Destiny on her reading (sight words are key this week!) Cook. Eat. Bath time. Bed time.
Non stop people. Non stop.
Did I mention that Staci has learned the art of the dirty look? Oh boy. My poor baby has had time out at least once a day for the past week!
Well, get back to ya'll later, the shower beckons me. (My students might appreciate it in the morning!!)
Non stop people. Non stop.
Did I mention that Staci has learned the art of the dirty look? Oh boy. My poor baby has had time out at least once a day for the past week!
Well, get back to ya'll later, the shower beckons me. (My students might appreciate it in the morning!!)
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Unwritten
Bobby and I have been coming up with possible songs for us to use for the kiddos adoption videos. I think we found the perfect one for Destiny. It's called "Unwritten." I'm sure you've heard it. It seems perfect for her. After a yucky start to life, she now has a chance to do whatever it is in the world she wants, and she'll always have her parents right behind her cheering her on.
So here's a bit of the lyrics from the song.
"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"
Your life is unwritten baby. Let's make it a good one.
So here's a bit of the lyrics from the song.
"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"
Your life is unwritten baby. Let's make it a good one.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Another New Start
This is my last official weekday as a SAHM. I go back to work Monday. *cry* Later today I'll take enrollment papers to Staci's daycare and she'll start Monday too. So we're off to another new beginning. Jon will be starting school for the first time, Staci will be starting daycare for the first time, Destiny will be starting a new school, and I'll be going back to work. Wow. All in a matter of a week. Hmmm....
I'll no longer be spending the majority of my time cleaning and cooking (although you wouldn't think that's what I do what with all the food stuck to the kitchen floor, dishes in the sink, and toys all over the place!) My feet will be in high heels instead of barefoot with food particles stuck to the bottoms (let me tell you!! Those Kix can really stick!) I'll actually do my hair as opposed to the afro I've been studding around (yes, afro. I have short curly beyond curly hair). I'll be teaching 8th graders all day instead of my little preschool babies. I'll be talking to grown-ups instead of changing pull-ups (Staci still has little accidents.) An alarm clock will wake me up instead of children. I'll have to rush home to get dinner cooking. I'll have to make lunches at 9:00 at night. No more quiet time. And 3:00 will be my favorite time of the day. Another new start, another new kind of life.
I love adventure.
I'll no longer be spending the majority of my time cleaning and cooking (although you wouldn't think that's what I do what with all the food stuck to the kitchen floor, dishes in the sink, and toys all over the place!) My feet will be in high heels instead of barefoot with food particles stuck to the bottoms (let me tell you!! Those Kix can really stick!) I'll actually do my hair as opposed to the afro I've been studding around (yes, afro. I have short curly beyond curly hair). I'll be teaching 8th graders all day instead of my little preschool babies. I'll be talking to grown-ups instead of changing pull-ups (Staci still has little accidents.) An alarm clock will wake me up instead of children. I'll have to rush home to get dinner cooking. I'll have to make lunches at 9:00 at night. No more quiet time. And 3:00 will be my favorite time of the day. Another new start, another new kind of life.
I love adventure.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Conversations during (yet another) thunderstorm
Scene: Destiny wakes me up at 1:30 am crying because her knee hurts, I give her some motrin and go back to bed. 10 minutes later, another large storm begins. Jon wakes up, comes into our room, and this is what happens.
Me: What's wrong, honey?
Jon: The storm tried to wake me up!
Me: Tried to wake you up? Yeah, that happens sometimes. Are you okay?
Jon: Yeah. Comes closer to my bed.
Me: Why don't you try to go back to sleep sweetheart.
Jon: *sigh*
Me: It's okay, babe. The rain, thunder, and lightning can't get in the house. We're safe, I promise. Try to go back to sleep.
Jon: But if I go back to sleep, the storm will just wake me up again.(How do you deal with a 4 year old that holds this kind logic?!)
Me: (thinking...thinking...thinking...) Well, it'll get quiet soon. (yes, that's all I could come up with!)
Jon: *sigh*
Me: Go back to bed, hon.
Jon: (moves closer to bed again...)
Me: Let's go back to sleep, okay?
Jon: (silence)
Me: 1....
Jon: (disapears faster than peanut butter during lunch)
That's it. My kids are smarter than me. Oh boy!
Me: What's wrong, honey?
Jon: The storm tried to wake me up!
Me: Tried to wake you up? Yeah, that happens sometimes. Are you okay?
Jon: Yeah. Comes closer to my bed.
Me: Why don't you try to go back to sleep sweetheart.
Jon: *sigh*
Me: It's okay, babe. The rain, thunder, and lightning can't get in the house. We're safe, I promise. Try to go back to sleep.
Jon: But if I go back to sleep, the storm will just wake me up again.(How do you deal with a 4 year old that holds this kind logic?!)
Me: (thinking...thinking...thinking...) Well, it'll get quiet soon. (yes, that's all I could come up with!)
Jon: *sigh*
Me: Go back to bed, hon.
Jon: (moves closer to bed again...)
Me: Let's go back to sleep, okay?
Jon: (silence)
Me: 1....
Jon: (disapears faster than peanut butter during lunch)
That's it. My kids are smarter than me. Oh boy!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Joys in my life.....
Here's a list of some of the joys in my life right now.
1. The last few days of summer vacation
2. The Tinkerbell back pack in my foyer
3. Diaper bags
4. Diapers and Pull-Ups
5. Having a laugh with my honey after the kids go to bed
6. Sleep
7. Tripping on toys
8. Picking up said toys that have been tripped on
9. Wrestling with kids
10. Listening to little baby burps
11. Retail therapy
12. Adoption papers
13. Sleep (did I mention how handy that comes in right now?)
14. Drying tearful eyes
15. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink to watch a movie late at night
16. Listening to the kids hum the Star Trek theme while I'm watching Next Gen. (I'm so proud!)
17. Arguing with Bob over who was a better captain, Kirk or Picard (we all know Picard was the best; though Kirk did get more action with the ladies!)
18. Watching Staci pick up Kix that fell to the floor during breakfast and eating them
19. Hearing Staci say a new word or phrase
20. Waiting for the next adventure of the day (which may include a certain 2 year old climbing a book case to the top, someone slamming into a wall because he couldn't stop running fast enough, or having to mend a cut because someone got to a kitchen knife. Okay that last one was me. Ya'll know I can't handle sharp instruments!)
1. The last few days of summer vacation
2. The Tinkerbell back pack in my foyer
3. Diaper bags
4. Diapers and Pull-Ups
5. Having a laugh with my honey after the kids go to bed
6. Sleep
7. Tripping on toys
8. Picking up said toys that have been tripped on
9. Wrestling with kids
10. Listening to little baby burps
11. Retail therapy
12. Adoption papers
13. Sleep (did I mention how handy that comes in right now?)
14. Drying tearful eyes
15. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink to watch a movie late at night
16. Listening to the kids hum the Star Trek theme while I'm watching Next Gen. (I'm so proud!)
17. Arguing with Bob over who was a better captain, Kirk or Picard (we all know Picard was the best; though Kirk did get more action with the ladies!)
18. Watching Staci pick up Kix that fell to the floor during breakfast and eating them
19. Hearing Staci say a new word or phrase
20. Waiting for the next adventure of the day (which may include a certain 2 year old climbing a book case to the top, someone slamming into a wall because he couldn't stop running fast enough, or having to mend a cut because someone got to a kitchen knife. Okay that last one was me. Ya'll know I can't handle sharp instruments!)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Back in the Saddle Again!
I think I was three years old the first time I was set on a horse. I've been in love ever since. I love the way being on a horse makes me feel. I'm always free to think clearly and it relieves loads of stress. It's my second home. In fact, my mom loves to joke that I'm more steady on a horse than my own two feet! I can't walk a straight line, but I sure can hold my seat in the saddle! Yee haw!!!
Well, last weekend, I got my first chance to get on a horse since we started fertility treatments and it felt so good! I only got to ride in the round pin for about ten minutes, but it was great,like coming home again. The kiddos watched on the side of the round pin and pretended they were riding too, it was so cute! I'm ordering a helmet for Destiny and we're going to start riding lessons for her in the coming month. She's already my little rodeo queen!
I'm working at downloading pics of my on Shelley, but blogger is giving me some trouble. Shelley's my Mom's miracle. Shelley almost died two years ago. After having emergency surgery to remove her ovaries, it was discovered that
Shelley had cysts on her ovaries that were causing lots of trouble. She and I are kindred spirits.
Well, last weekend, I got my first chance to get on a horse since we started fertility treatments and it felt so good! I only got to ride in the round pin for about ten minutes, but it was great,like coming home again. The kiddos watched on the side of the round pin and pretended they were riding too, it was so cute! I'm ordering a helmet for Destiny and we're going to start riding lessons for her in the coming month. She's already my little rodeo queen!
I'm working at downloading pics of my on Shelley, but blogger is giving me some trouble. Shelley's my Mom's miracle. Shelley almost died two years ago. After having emergency surgery to remove her ovaries, it was discovered that
Shelley had cysts on her ovaries that were causing lots of trouble. She and I are kindred spirits.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Monday's Checklist
Okay, so here's my checklist for Monday:
Go to school district head office to get approval for Jon to enter preschool.
Call CPS to find out of approval for child care services funds
While on phone with CPS, find out if I have to fly to San Antonio this week to read case files or if they will send them to us and save me a trip (cross fingers.)
Call our SW to find our about develpmental check-ups and psychological eval results.
Go home and eat lunch, have quiet time.
During quiet time, clean house.
2:40 vision and hearing check-ups for all three kids.
??? Go home and scrounge something up for dinner.
Clean again.
Laundry.
Bathe children.
(have I hugged them yet today??)
Read to kids.
Bedtime.
Watch some of my Star Trek the Next Generation DVD's from the fifth season
(an I love you present from my wonderful honey who understands my need for this.)
Take lunesta to get myself to sleep.
Try not to twitch tonight.
Tuesday:
Start all over.
Have I mentioned how much I love being a mom?
;)
Go to school district head office to get approval for Jon to enter preschool.
Call CPS to find out of approval for child care services funds
While on phone with CPS, find out if I have to fly to San Antonio this week to read case files or if they will send them to us and save me a trip (cross fingers.)
Call our SW to find our about develpmental check-ups and psychological eval results.
Go home and eat lunch, have quiet time.
During quiet time, clean house.
2:40 vision and hearing check-ups for all three kids.
??? Go home and scrounge something up for dinner.
Clean again.
Laundry.
Bathe children.
(have I hugged them yet today??)
Read to kids.
Bedtime.
Watch some of my Star Trek the Next Generation DVD's from the fifth season
(an I love you present from my wonderful honey who understands my need for this.)
Take lunesta to get myself to sleep.
Try not to twitch tonight.
Tuesday:
Start all over.
Have I mentioned how much I love being a mom?
;)
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Rebirth
I've been rereading Memoirs of a Geisha and I came upon something that really struck me. Here's a quote:
"...now I understood the thing that had puzzled me all morning. The stale air had
washed away. The past was gone...I could do nothing to change it. But I suppose
that for the past year I'd been dead in a way too...I'm not sure this will make sense
to you, but I felt as though I'd turned around to look in a different direction, so that
I no longer faced backward toward the past, but forward toward the future."
Wow. I've been working for months to come up with the words to describe how I felt in January the day we decided to stop trying to get pregnant and adopt. It was like being reborn, having the world taken off your shoulders. It was one of the best and worst days of my life. But it was the moment that all my hurts began to heal instead of being repeatedly ripped open. And now I look at my life and my three children and I don't even have to wonder if we made the right decision (for us.)
Not long after the kiddos came home, Bobby told me that he'd always thought that even if we never had any children, our family would be complete. "But these kids filled a hole in my heart I didn't even know was there. I understand now. I understand how you felt."
So here we go, living our new lives, turned in another direction, looking towards the sun instead of towards the dark. And what a beautiful sunrise it is.
"...now I understood the thing that had puzzled me all morning. The stale air had
washed away. The past was gone...I could do nothing to change it. But I suppose
that for the past year I'd been dead in a way too...I'm not sure this will make sense
to you, but I felt as though I'd turned around to look in a different direction, so that
I no longer faced backward toward the past, but forward toward the future."
Wow. I've been working for months to come up with the words to describe how I felt in January the day we decided to stop trying to get pregnant and adopt. It was like being reborn, having the world taken off your shoulders. It was one of the best and worst days of my life. But it was the moment that all my hurts began to heal instead of being repeatedly ripped open. And now I look at my life and my three children and I don't even have to wonder if we made the right decision (for us.)
Not long after the kiddos came home, Bobby told me that he'd always thought that even if we never had any children, our family would be complete. "But these kids filled a hole in my heart I didn't even know was there. I understand now. I understand how you felt."
So here we go, living our new lives, turned in another direction, looking towards the sun instead of towards the dark. And what a beautiful sunrise it is.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
The Stress Has Hit the Fan
A few days ago, I started having what my doctor is calling tremors. While I'm sleeping, resting, or just sitting still, my body shakes. It usually lasts only a second or so, but it is scary. Almost like a siezure. It went on for ten hours the other night, so my doc prescribed Lunesta to help me sleep. Last night, I was out until about 2:00 am and then slept on and off. The meds did help calm my body down and I didn't shake as much. I have an MRI on my brain this afternoon and tomorrow I'll find out if I need to see a Neurologist. I'm sure it's all about stress...I go back to work in less than two weeks and I'm still not sure where Jon and Staci are going. I think I may have found someone I can trust as a nanny for Staci but I need a preschool for Jon too. The very fact that I'm going back to work and entrusting my kids with someone else is killing me. But the whole thing is scary, none the less.
It hasn't helped that Staci has some kind of infection and has been fussy for several days. I had to take her to the pediatrician yesterday. After two doses of tylenol, she still had fever and the infection had gotten into her eyes. Poor baby. She is such a good girl.
So for now I'm trying to rest as much as possible. Of course this means my house is a wreck and the kitchen is disgusting. But, I digress. I waited a long time to see tiny little shoes and matchbox cars laying all over my house. It's a sight of beauty to me. Just watch where your walking or you can add broken ankle to the list 'o' things wrong.
On a happier note, one of Bobby's best friends is getting married on Friday and Bobby's a groomsman. The wedding doesn't even start until 6:30, so it's parents' night out! The kids are staying with my in-laws for the night and I'll pick them up in the morning. Early. Like before the sun rises. ;)
It hasn't helped that Staci has some kind of infection and has been fussy for several days. I had to take her to the pediatrician yesterday. After two doses of tylenol, she still had fever and the infection had gotten into her eyes. Poor baby. She is such a good girl.
So for now I'm trying to rest as much as possible. Of course this means my house is a wreck and the kitchen is disgusting. But, I digress. I waited a long time to see tiny little shoes and matchbox cars laying all over my house. It's a sight of beauty to me. Just watch where your walking or you can add broken ankle to the list 'o' things wrong.
On a happier note, one of Bobby's best friends is getting married on Friday and Bobby's a groomsman. The wedding doesn't even start until 6:30, so it's parents' night out! The kids are staying with my in-laws for the night and I'll pick them up in the morning. Early. Like before the sun rises. ;)
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Austin, Here we come!!!!!!!
So, we've decided to go to Austin, TX for National Adoption Day to finalize the kids' adoptions! This means we don't have to hire a lawyer (already done for you), transfer the case, red tape, red tape, red tape all gone! No waiting for a court date! All our Social Worker has to do is send our information to Austin and it's all done....we basically just show up! I'm so excited! So, November 18, we go to court and our babies will for the record, officially, be ours forever. Yahooo! Here's to a short wait, lots of fun, and a great trip to our state's capitol.
On the road again.....I can't wait to get on the road again!
On the road again.....I can't wait to get on the road again!
Friday, July 21, 2006
The legend of the white sink
Once upon a time, there was a sink. A beautiful sink, the envy of the land. One day, a bright, funny, energetic, non-mom bought this sink to call her own. It was a wonderful sink. It had two quite large basins, was majestic and perfect in every way. It's new owner even bought it a gorgeous faucet to match the beauty of the sink. They were the perfect pair. The sink was a great friend to his new owner. It held all the dishes, looked pretty when it was empty, and shined all the time! What the sink didn't know was that three gorgeous kids were coming home to add to the beauty of the house. The poor sink begged, pleaded with it's owner, "Please don't let them near me!" But she didn't listen. Now the poor sink, the hero of our story and at one time the bright star of the kitchen, is just not white or shiny any more. Sinky is now turning a strange shade of brown (when you can see the bottom of it.) It also has silver lines on it revealing the exact places where the kids have scraped their dishes into the sink. It needs a good scrubbing with comet if the lady wants it to shine at all, but where, oh where, is there time for that?
Poor poor sinky. If only it's proud owner had bought it in another color. It's beauty might still be shining. But, alas, the beauty of the sink is no more. Never shiny, never proud, never empty. *sigh*
Poor poor sinky. If only it's proud owner had bought it in another color. It's beauty might still be shining. But, alas, the beauty of the sink is no more. Never shiny, never proud, never empty. *sigh*
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Post #2 for today...
Here's a story I wrote not long after the kids got home. Thought I'd share it with those of you who havn't read it yet.
Everything I need to know about being a Mom a learned from Sams Club.
So I had my first trip to Sam's Club as a Mom a few days ago. I was quite excited as Bob is a manager there and I'd get to see some of his co-workers and chit chat. I left the kiddos with my mother-in-law and headed into the Club with a light heart and lots of excitement. Bobby walkedwith me for a while and we talked as I loaded 500 pounds of meat into the cart. He then went back to work and I proceeded to shove the rest of the food into my cart. Quite a while later, as I was getting ready to go to the check out stands, Bob walks up and helps me with the cart (which now weighed about three tons.) We checked out and I got ready to take our food home!!! Now, before I go any further, I should note that our Sam's Club is under construction right now for a remodel. So that means the parking lot is a terrible mess. Okay, so I begin to walk out of the club and forget that there is a bit of a bump...I try to take it at an angle and 900 pounds of cart goes flying to the side and runs straight into a fence. (I should also tell you that there is only enough room for one person to get through at a time, so there are several people behind me waiting.) So I straighten out and make my way up a hill to my car. Twenty sore muscles and a sunburn later, I make it to thecar, my little Dodge Stratus that we bought two months before we found out about the kids and the reason we can't buy a van yet, open the trunk, and see the stroller amongst several other kiddy things taking up lots of room. I then peek into the backseat and am reminded that there are three car seats there. So with a lot of maneuvering that I learned from being a carry out as a teenager, I was able to fit my load of groceries into the car. I turn the car on, press the gas, and I swear I heard the car cry. So I had a pep talk with the car and was on my way. Once home, I realize that it is all up to me to get the food from the car to the house with out any bags or boxes. "Okay, I can do this." My mantra becomes, "I think I can I think I can I think I can." By some miracle, I get the food into the house pretty quickly. I walk over to the fridge, that by the way is used to holding a gallon of milk, a bottle of ketchup, and a carton of eggs, and begin to fill it. Now, after awhile, I can see the fridge figuring out what is going on. "Where is all that food going?" It asks me. Carefully I try to explain that it is the fridge and that's where food goes. "You want me to do what?! I can't hold all of that! I know your organization skills. You're gonna kill me!" I try to calm it down and resume filling it. After about an hour, even the dog, my most trusted friend, is laughing at me. So here's the point. There are so many things that we need to know about being a Mom. We need to know patience (my trip took about 3 hours total.) We need to have strength (I'm still sore.) But I think the biggest thing that we need as moms is encouragement and help. If I had let someone help me carry out the food, things may have been easier. If I had asked someone to go with me, I would have had help. I'm beginning to learn that there is no Supermom. I can't do everything and be everywhere. There's an old saying that says "It takes a villiage to raise achild." And it's true. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to not have all the answers, there's someone out there to lift us up, love us, and encourage us. As long as we stand on Him and His promises, there's nowhere we can't go and nothing we can't do for our children
Everything I need to know about being a Mom a learned from Sams Club.
So I had my first trip to Sam's Club as a Mom a few days ago. I was quite excited as Bob is a manager there and I'd get to see some of his co-workers and chit chat. I left the kiddos with my mother-in-law and headed into the Club with a light heart and lots of excitement. Bobby walkedwith me for a while and we talked as I loaded 500 pounds of meat into the cart. He then went back to work and I proceeded to shove the rest of the food into my cart. Quite a while later, as I was getting ready to go to the check out stands, Bob walks up and helps me with the cart (which now weighed about three tons.) We checked out and I got ready to take our food home!!! Now, before I go any further, I should note that our Sam's Club is under construction right now for a remodel. So that means the parking lot is a terrible mess. Okay, so I begin to walk out of the club and forget that there is a bit of a bump...I try to take it at an angle and 900 pounds of cart goes flying to the side and runs straight into a fence. (I should also tell you that there is only enough room for one person to get through at a time, so there are several people behind me waiting.) So I straighten out and make my way up a hill to my car. Twenty sore muscles and a sunburn later, I make it to thecar, my little Dodge Stratus that we bought two months before we found out about the kids and the reason we can't buy a van yet, open the trunk, and see the stroller amongst several other kiddy things taking up lots of room. I then peek into the backseat and am reminded that there are three car seats there. So with a lot of maneuvering that I learned from being a carry out as a teenager, I was able to fit my load of groceries into the car. I turn the car on, press the gas, and I swear I heard the car cry. So I had a pep talk with the car and was on my way. Once home, I realize that it is all up to me to get the food from the car to the house with out any bags or boxes. "Okay, I can do this." My mantra becomes, "I think I can I think I can I think I can." By some miracle, I get the food into the house pretty quickly. I walk over to the fridge, that by the way is used to holding a gallon of milk, a bottle of ketchup, and a carton of eggs, and begin to fill it. Now, after awhile, I can see the fridge figuring out what is going on. "Where is all that food going?" It asks me. Carefully I try to explain that it is the fridge and that's where food goes. "You want me to do what?! I can't hold all of that! I know your organization skills. You're gonna kill me!" I try to calm it down and resume filling it. After about an hour, even the dog, my most trusted friend, is laughing at me. So here's the point. There are so many things that we need to know about being a Mom. We need to know patience (my trip took about 3 hours total.) We need to have strength (I'm still sore.) But I think the biggest thing that we need as moms is encouragement and help. If I had let someone help me carry out the food, things may have been easier. If I had asked someone to go with me, I would have had help. I'm beginning to learn that there is no Supermom. I can't do everything and be everywhere. There's an old saying that says "It takes a villiage to raise achild." And it's true. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to not have all the answers, there's someone out there to lift us up, love us, and encourage us. As long as we stand on Him and His promises, there's nowhere we can't go and nothing we can't do for our children
A look into the coming year....feeling nostalgic.
The closer the school year gets, the more excited I get about all the changes that have taken place this year and the things that will continue to change next year. We have, in one year, bought our first house and adopted three children. We've had ups and downs that could have destroyed our marriage, but they made it stronger. We are discovering the joys of parent hood and the love that comes with it. I have am making peace with who I am and how my body works (or doesn't work ;) ) It really is crazy how many changes can take place in just one short year.
And now a look into the coming year:
My children will be adopted into their forever family. Destiny will have another chance at success in school. Jon will recieve help with his speech and will hopefully get some physical therapy. Staci will continue to learn about her world and grow into a little girl instead of a baby. We will keep bonding...we will grow as parents and as a family. The kiddos will continue to heal, I will continue to heal. And we will have all the ups and downs families have. I can't wait! Even though being an instant mom of three is hard and there are times when I call my Mommy crying begging for help, I love my life. I love my children. I love being a mom. I can't wait to go camping for the first time. I can't wait to take the kids to the Grand Canyon, the Petrified Forest, and even just to Waco the meet my family. I can't wait for Destiny to read her first full sentence or for Jon to play soccer. I can't wait to finalize their adoption!
For so long, it was like I lived in pain and had to force myself just to breathe. Now, I don't know what I did to be so blessed. So many people have told me what a blessing it is for the kids that we are adopting them, but really, it's the other way around. They have blessed us in uncountable ways.
So, here's to a great school year!
And now a look into the coming year:
My children will be adopted into their forever family. Destiny will have another chance at success in school. Jon will recieve help with his speech and will hopefully get some physical therapy. Staci will continue to learn about her world and grow into a little girl instead of a baby. We will keep bonding...we will grow as parents and as a family. The kiddos will continue to heal, I will continue to heal. And we will have all the ups and downs families have. I can't wait! Even though being an instant mom of three is hard and there are times when I call my Mommy crying begging for help, I love my life. I love my children. I love being a mom. I can't wait to go camping for the first time. I can't wait to take the kids to the Grand Canyon, the Petrified Forest, and even just to Waco the meet my family. I can't wait for Destiny to read her first full sentence or for Jon to play soccer. I can't wait to finalize their adoption!
For so long, it was like I lived in pain and had to force myself just to breathe. Now, I don't know what I did to be so blessed. So many people have told me what a blessing it is for the kids that we are adopting them, but really, it's the other way around. They have blessed us in uncountable ways.
So, here's to a great school year!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
That's it. Staci is officially two. She is now pouting and throwing herself on the floor when she doesn't get what she wants. Let me tell you how big that lower lip can get. It is sooooo cute!
We have a lot of stuff going on this week. Tomorrow our social worker comes out for a visit and CPS comes out of Friday. I hope Destiny takes it better this time. She was really bothered by the last visit and would not leave my lap. We had psychological evals today and I'm quite curious to see what he says. Man, I'm already tired.
Well, my wonderful husband just got home and is staring at me....I think I should go.
Bye for now.
We have a lot of stuff going on this week. Tomorrow our social worker comes out for a visit and CPS comes out of Friday. I hope Destiny takes it better this time. She was really bothered by the last visit and would not leave my lap. We had psychological evals today and I'm quite curious to see what he says. Man, I'm already tired.
Well, my wonderful husband just got home and is staring at me....I think I should go.
Bye for now.
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