Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Having a bad week...but doing okay.

It's been a tough week so far. We're still not sure when our babies are coming home and the wait is getting really tough. But how horrible is this...I'm almost glad. I'm so scared that I'm not going to be a good mom. Well, I know everyone must go through this. What if I'm not ready? What if? What if? But...I didn't know I could teach 8th grade either and I face my little monsters (whom I love dearly) every day! I want what's best for these kids, no matter what. I just hope I can give it to them.
I had a doctors appointment this week as well which for some reason really shook me up. I guess part of it was just being in that office again. The last time I was there, I was in the middle of fertility treatments/miscarriage/surgery. Maybe I wasn't ready to be back there again. I'm so happy about getting my children, but I guess I'm still mourning what might have been. My doc also told me that I'm a good candidate for Lupron injections. These lovely guys put your body into a menopausal state which hinders endometriosis growth and pain. I really want to go through menopause type stuff at 26? Can't you just see this! Patty, wouldn't you love for me to have my own little "personal summers!" Ha! I think I'll just stick with what I'm doing for now. I like living in my hot flash free zone right now thank you!
So I'll keep on pluggin and I'll be okay. My kids'll get home soon, I'll do the best I can as their mom, and I'll continue to grieve for a while. I bet that someday it won't hurt so bad anymore.
Wow, this was a depressing post. Sorry guys! I'll try to be more upbeat next time!

Thursday, April 13, 2006


So on a hunch I called the kids' case worker today and guess what!! They're coming home soon!!! She told me that she went to court on Tuesday and we were accepted as their prospective parents! All that we're waiting for is a travel/placement date to be agreed on. I can't believe it! My heart is just so full right now. We should know next week when we get them. I would love for them to be home by the 28th so that they can go with me to Paul and Tre's court date for their finalization. I think it would be great for them to see how wonderful adoption is and how many people celebrate it with you.

Man! If I could only stop crying!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Waiting Waiting Waiting!

Okay, so still no news on when Bob's going to get his background check back. It's been out for six weeks now and we're getting pretty anxious. Our SW did tell us last week that there has been some movement, so I'm hoping to hear something soon. I would love to be able to tell the kids on Easter that we're going to be their Mommy and Daddy. How great would that be! So for now, I'm doing my best to stay busy. I've just about finished their rooms and I decided to start doing yoga. Let me tell you, it doesn't feel like you're doing much, but man do my abs hurt! I'm trying to get back into shape because I'd love to start ballet again when we get Destiny into it this summer.
I've also changed our eating habits completely (ie actually cooking everyday and making menus.) I figure it's best to change my habits now and not be bombarded with it when the kids get here. I really do feel better when I eat well. What a concept!
So here's to hoping that we hear something soon! I want my babies home!!!!!!!