Saturday, June 16, 2007

I'll have "My body sucks" for a thousand, Alex...

Warning: Angry post ahead.

yeah. You know how they say to be really careful right after giving birth because you will be very fertile? Please.

Almost 8 weeks post partum and no sign of my period. No. I'm not breastfeeding. it should have come by now. I've already been told by Dr. G that if I don't get it in a few weeks, I start going in for testing to see what's wrong. Nice.

I'm so lucky to have had Luke. I wonder what would happen if we wanted to try for one more...it may seem weird, looking back at my horrible pregnancy, but I think I would like to do it one more time. I don't know. Maybe it's just that infertility can really mess up your mind. You live to have a baby for so long...then you live to keep the baby inside long enough...it' s like jumping off a cliff. You start asking yourself "now what?" I just wish something could be normal. The only normal part of my pregnancy journey was that I got pregnant at all. Getting there was horrible, staying there was scary...

And then I couldn't breast feed. It was something that I didn't really talk about, but it broke my heart. My stupid breasts are filled with fibrocystic disease. I couldn't get any milk out. I would pump for an hour and only get foam. That's right. Foam.

And now I can't get my body started...AGAIN. SH*&!

So now I'm going to have to go on Prometrium to force a period so that I can go on the pill...

I hate this.

5 comments:

Cece said...

Augh. So sorry! It must be so frustrating for your body to not jsut work like it should! Good luck.

Rachel said...

Wow, that sounds stressful. I'll need to read back to find out about your birth experience. I hope that last couple of days have gone better.

kirby said...

It can be so rough when you body doesn't work the way it should. Hang in there.

BestLight said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy, Ivy. I wish I had some magic words to make it all better, but instead I'll just agree with you that it sucks. And tell you that this, too, shall pass. (Well, remind you rather than tell you ..because I bet you already know.)

mandolyn said...

I'm a few weeks behind you and am already dreading being right where you are. Wait, that sounds bad...I think you know what I mean.

My mom (living in her happy box) keeps saying, "Well maybe your body will just jump-start now and start working perfectly." It makes me scream. No. It won't.

I'm expecting no period on my own. But the pill and my migraines don'y play nice together...so I'm still standing arpund with a big ol' question mark on my head.